Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
