I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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