also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
