dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
