i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize