you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
