If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize