I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
