well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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