If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need a burrito and a hug.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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