so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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