Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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