Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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