my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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