just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
