His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
