We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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