it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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