Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
