So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
