i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
