She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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