Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have feelings that need drinking.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
