Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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