Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
