I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
