your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
