i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize