ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
