TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
