He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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