When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
