i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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