there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
