well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
