I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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