So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
