margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
