Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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