I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
