dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
