plz talk dirty to me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
