you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
