we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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