i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
