Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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