Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
