i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had to cum in my sink.
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