HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
