One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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