Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
