I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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