Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
