Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
