I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
