1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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